I want to talk
about a particular phenomenon in the public transportation system but that
reflects the inefficiency of the whole system, because from these kinds of
details –which, unfortunately, sometimes appear to be just insignificant things–
we can look in facts the obtuseness of the system, this is not an isolated
fact; this happens frequently in the city and maybe you have noticed it more
than once when you go to work in the busy morning.
Monday to
Friday, from 7.30 am to 10.00 pm –peak time–, there is a deviation in the
traffic. So all the traffic of the avenue Jose Pedro Alessandri transits only
from south to north. And the traffic that comes from the opposite direction has
to deviation in the corner of Los Leones and Av. Sucre which it’s a terrible
problem for the users of the Transantiago
because the “caterpillar buses” are too big and the Av. Sucre it’s too small,
even the normal buses are too big in compare with the size of the avenue, and
in this corner all the traffic from north to south must divert, not just the
public transporting.
From this it
turns out that the buses DO NOT STOP at the whereabouts located on the Av. Sucre,
just because in the chaos of the traffic the buses do not have how stop in the
whereabouts. Every day we saw in the TV experts saying that all the problem of
the Transantiago are because of the
evasion of the user but this kind of problem it’s not because of the evasion of
the users, ¡it’s because of the inefficient of the system!. ¡And we, the users,
are the ones who has to pay the cost of all the inefficient!
Well done, the text xlearly shows a progress in terms of the structuring of paragraphs and and of a text as a whole piece of discourse.
ResponderEliminarVery good attempr at using cohesive devices, and on the overall, the lexis is good, however there are several inconsistencies in terms of register, adding to it, there are several grammar and lexical mistakes that makke your text a piece to improve.
Correction:
" has to deviation in the corner" = have to turn in the corner.
"Av. Sucre it’s too smal"= Av. Sucre IS too small.
" have how stop in the whereabouts." = I do not really know what you meant.
" Every day we saw in the TV"= every day we SEE ON TV.
"inefficient of the system!" Inefficiency of the system.
"the ones who has to pay the cost of all the inefficient!"= the ones who HAVE to pay the cost of inneficiencies.
T= 3, L= 2,5 , G= 1,5 = 7 pts
Grade: 5,5